Life doesn’t come with a manual, let us not forget.

Every single person has a path where they play the game of life and go through lessons that will translate themselves into becoming rules to live by. The rule being the outcome of a lesson; the acquirement of knowledge as to how to proceed from then on; the extracted value from that lesson.

In today’s post, I’m touching on lessons in life that play into our self-awareness. Awareness is, really, where all the answers lie. It’s when you can break the chain of negative thoughts creating negative outcomes, it’s when you can stop blaming your younger self, it’s when learning opportunities turn into, not a conflict between the heart and mind, but really the assets or allies of the mind.

And how powerful that is, my dear friend. Let us now get into it.

The 9 Lessons From Life

There is no doubt one can think of more lessons in life than the nine we will get into, as it should also be encouraged to for yourself discover what else you can extract from what you go through in life. That’s the essence of personal growth, of self-development.

As for the 9 lessons here, I posited to make them overarching and directed towards either developing, expanding or enhancing one’s consciousness. We will find that these lessons, core values, or rules, can be scaled down to various examples of situations in which the lesson would apply for us. Scaling it down helps us to recognise patterns of our behaviour (you think, you therefore feel, you will therefore act) and in turn, how to utilise this.

It would be highly expected to now say that you should sit back and get comfortable, but when you’re going to read this, do this instead:

1. Get in the present moment.
2. Assume that you’re going to learn something.

That’s all I recommend.

1. Learning is found outside of the comfort zone

I’m almost certain this is something you’ve probably heard a hundred times already (if not a thousand). So, perhaps this is yet another message trying to reach your mind.

When we talk about the zone outside of our comfort zone, it would be the place where we can meet the unknown. Unfortunately, our brains are designed to avoid conflict and danger, and while it does have benefits we need, we have to realise that in today’s society, we no longer face predators chasing us or that we have to go on a hunt where there’s a question of coming back alive or end up being eaten alive.

Yet, we can’t deny the society of today growing a danger of perhaps a much more devastating fashion: unconsciously or consciously digging into the minds of other people, and actually have it affecting one’s mental health in more cases you may think. I think we can all see that, whether it’s unconsciously or consciously done, they both carry a force among them that can be destructive, to the “disruptor” as well as to the “disrupted”.

Now, how does this come into play in our fear of not stepping outside of our comfort zone? The simplest example, yet probably one of the strongest and most tangible, is to look at social media. People from all over the world are imposing their thoughts and ideas on us, and you can try denying they’re not affecting you, which is exactly why this point is made, since they do have an influence.

But, you can decide what your reaction is going to be.

You can let them have power over you and make you believe you’re not up to what they’re doing, meaning you will remain in a comfort area where little to no movement takes place (sounds less comfortable now, right?), or you can cut the rope of influence and simply ignore the sway of the swing. Now you open the gateway to get onto the tracks of opportunities without the dependency of what others may think.

And here’s a thought to ease your thoughts. As almost everyone is so caught up with themselves already, they don’t actually care or have a substanced opinion about what you’re doing in life.

It’s what you believe to be true.

2. You can choose a destiny when you decide to

A message from above actually comes together in this one. The message I’m talking about is this: you can decide your reaction. You see, we don’t always get to have control over what happens, but when we realise there’s power over how we respond to what happens, a world opens up.

To build onto this, I would like to share a small excerpt from the book Reality Transurfing by Vadim Zeland:

“Everyone is free to choose any destiny they wish. The only freedom we truly have is the freedom of choice. You can choose anything you want.

This is not to be interpreted as if you can do anything at any cost. Morally, you wouldn’t be able to stand your ground. What is meant by this, is that you can step away from life throwing you into corners and from the (rather cliche) idea that “life happens”. Surely, it does, but life has a much more meaningful way of happening when you consciously decide where you’re to be headed.

Now, we’re also encouraged to lean into being in the present moment, to embrace the unknown and to learn to anticipate on what happens without preparation, just so we’re not creating a narrow focus on the future.

A bit complicated when you think there’s also all of this conscious (beforehand) deciding in order to end at the finish line of your destiny. While when doing this with a conscious eye that is directed towards a purpose (the destiny or goal you can say), we are attuning ourselves to be led to that destiny.

Choosing a destiny is about being aware of the fact that ‘fate’ is truly in your hands, but only in the sense that it has been given to you to choose it, rather than change it.

3. The only person standing in your way is you

Our younger selves didn’t see the ‘hidden messages’ in movies, but we’ve all experienced (many) aha-moments when we find ourselves rewatching a children’s movie (there is no judgment here). So, this lesson is rather inspired by a scene from one of the Shrek’s movies, I believe it to be Shrek the Third.

In this scene, Arthur (who would become the next king of the land of Far Far Away) comes in between the villains and Shrek and his allies (‘the good’). Arthur brings out the message that fighting violence with violence is never a means to an end and that it’s our inner selves that we should change to accomplish peace, that will in turn create peace with those around us.

Arthur makes it a strong message we should all hold onto:

In the next, the villains come to the realisation that it was their evil – from living in past anger – standing in the way of happiness and so they dropped their weapons on the floor: they detached themselves from emotions having control over their actions.

In almost every movie they’re trying to make a message coming across, consisting of valuable life lessons. And when they’re seen, they will be known.

4. Shortcomings come from the mind, not the soul

I have been thinking how we should best break this down. We’re gifted with the ability to make things come alive with thoughts, and so do our ideas after we fueled them enough with an unspecified amount of them (unspecified being a particular amount that we can’t quantify).

So, I thought, let’s break this down by driving home the following:

A person is limited.

The mind is mutable.

A living mind is infinite.

The person would be your material existence. It’s your physical place on this (3D-)sphere and how you experience the world around you with your senses.

The mind is the thought energy and it can tap into various patterns and frequencies. Patterns can be associations, beliefs, attitudes and perspectives (thoughts learned through experience and repetition). Frequencies are, roughly said, to be divided into high and low. Low frequency thoughts can be a.o. distrust and pessimism. High frequency thoughts can, for example, be worthiness and optimism.

That the mind can tap into these areas (with feelings becoming attached to the thoughts) makes it mutable: it can change its focus and direction. When the mind is carried by high frequency thoughts, when we’re taking pleasure in expecting good things coming our way, the mind comes alive. It’s when we want to keep moving forward and when we see countless of possibilities coming forth.

The living mind is the soul; our spirit, and the spirit is no respector of person or limits. It simply follows the mind and when we’re focusing on possibility rather than our shortcomings, opportunities appear.

“Change appears when the mind meets genesis.”

Creation follows when the mind connects to it.

And this is not out of thin air, as you can now understand.

5. Losing contempt frees you from being conquered

When we take a closer, yet general look at judgment and contempt, we can translate this into an emotion (contempt or judgment) triggered by an external factor (the external factor being a person, a situation, etc.).

And when we dive a little deeper, into what happens on an energetic level, it is that the external factor is drawing energy from you, because you react with the exact kind of energy that feeds the energetic swing. In other words, we let it have power over us, simply because we give in to it.

An important life lesson is to understand that our responses carry out an energy and just as we can hold onto faith, ambition, inspiration, kindness and love, we can also find ourselves feeling tied to judgment towards other people. All it needs is one situation, one person, one association, and we’re back to the thought pattern of contempt. Sometimes it takes one time, other times more. The point here is to clarify the extent of its force.

Now, this doesn’t tell us judgment is bad in its totality. Someone dear to me, who greatly fascinates me, pointed me to this view of judgment to which I couldn’t agree more. The point was about the fact that judgment is built into us, and that it’s what has made us survive. We judge, for example, just so we can make a healthy decision for ourselves and not blindly fall into the traps of other people’s (willful) manipulation.

In addition to what he said, that is building onto the idea that judgment is inherently built into us, is that judgment comes from our egos. We all have an ego, and we can divide this into either an unhealthy or a healthy one. Healthy ego and a substanced sense of judgment is crucial to move in life, but when we mix unhealthy ego with unhealthy judgment, that’s where we can expect issues starting to appear.

To come to terms of what is needed to enjoy life to a full extent is to intentionally give more space to the good that’s around and within you. Judge with a healthy sense, steer the thoughs toward a right direction, stop comparing, and ignore the negative things trying to make you attached to feeling scornful.

From this moment on, spend time in acquiring a new perspective that is aimed at how you wish to be as a person in this life.

6. Directed intention fulfills desire

The fulfillment of a desire is in need of intention in order to set it into motion. And the intention is channeled by what your attitude is towards this desire.

Vadim Zeland (in Reality Transurfing) explains three types of desires:

1. A desire that transforms into a determined intention to have something and do whatever is required to get it.
2. A desire consisting of knowledge of wanting it, there’s yet no action tied to it and it’s only tormenting its carrier. No surprise here what happens with the desire, or rather: what doesn’t happen.
3. A desire dependent on the object of the desire, where we can cry out things like: “If I don’t achieve this, my life will lose all meaning,” or “If I do this, I’ll prove to myself and everybody else what I’m worth.”

I hope it’s been made clear it’s the first kind of desire we should find ourselves in, or that the other two are without doubt ones we shouldn’t.

The first one would be about wanting something bad enough, you will figure out how to get it and in other cases, a desire would be like a contract you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what it is that you want.

The first type of desire would be the only one that can be fulfilled, as we will experience the determination of getting what we want. What is required, is the energy of pure intention, so we can transfer us to a path where the object of desire becomes part of our reality.

We will come to the realisation that there are different ways to look at the desire, and that the way we feel changes how it affects us in our lives. People who perceive a desire as a good thing, will come to see it as a good thing for them. Whereas the people who project a negative perception onto a desire, will come to see it as a bad thing.

You see, people viewing it as a good thing use it as a tool for (growing) motivation and inspiration, and the people having a negative outlook on the fulfillment of that desire have thoughts about unhealthy attachments, resentments, opinions from others and jealousies and this often stems from wanting something you don’t have.

And here is no judgment as to which one is good. The words good, negative, and bad are merely words to describe the contrast. What I’m trying to clarify here, is that if you want a life that is good for you, it’s important, or rather necessary, to understand both sides of the coin. Otherwise, you may fall into either one of the traps.

This means we’ll either try to solve our problems by holding on to our desires and probably become resentful of our perceived position in life, growing jealousy of those around you who seem to have grass that’s greener, and in turn it makes us frustrated because of the progress we’re not making.

Or, we’ll try to fix our problems by letting go of it and as a result of that, we lose our drive, motivation, perseverence, inspiration and ambition.

But here’s what happens when you intentionally and positively want something:

1. You know the path you’re walking on to get what you want.
2. Your identity is not attached to your goal, and this means less stress & more creativity.
3. You cultivate inspiration, because you let yourself feel the excitement of desire.
4. A sense of abundance grows, as you’ve put your mind in a place where it’s needed to have your desire fulfilled.

To want something, is to feel as if it’s already existent. Then you will be presented with opportunities that lead you to the experience of that fulfillment.

7. Your thoughts come back to you like a boomerang

Our human psyche has developed over thousands of years under the influence of countless circumstances, and the destructive ones are what have kept people in a condition of fear and not in a state of overcoming fears. In consequence, we tend to have a very clear idea of what we don’t want and yet have a very vague idea of what we do want. Feel free to sit with this idea for a moment.

The boomerang metaphor rests on this matter (Vadim Zeland):

You will find an overlap with the previous lesson in life. What you put out there, that is your thought energy, will reflect itself back. In the worst case, materialised into a circumstance you exactly didn’t want. You can also get what you don’t want, as your subconscious believes the thought energy you radiate, which is no respector of whether it’s a desire or not.

It’s therefore not enough to make sure you are not taking in negative energy from without. It’s important that you make sure that you’re not putting out negative energy too.

What is meant by this, is that the negative energy we are transmitting corresponds to a life line where we experience negative emotions, and we are therefore inevitably carried in the direction of similar experiences where disappointment and misfortune are presented in higher numbers.

Obviously, there is no clear evidence that proves this concept, as this is something we need to experience for ourselves.

And what you can do is this:

Observe for yourself how every time you react negatively, something else of a similar fashion follows.

8. To take pleasure in expecting further improvement

One of the most important life lessons one can go through is cultivating gratitude in what we have and for the smaller wins we’re accomplishing (but are yet part of the big picture). As we’re now making an understanding of negative thoughts leading us onto a path of corresponding circumstances, it would now be that we’re realising the opposite is just as existent to create for ourselves.

When we let in the (more) positive things, we will be greeted by more of that’s good news and opportunities that are in alignment with our positive thought energy.

This may be a hard life lesson, because once we experienced a moment of joy or inspiration, it’s easy to get pulled back into the stresses our daily routine. Elevated emotions are soon forgotten and the system of the day takes over. This doesn’t happen to us, in fact, we choose to let life throwing us into corners.

For us to keep the emotions elevated, is to remember the moments when we were experiencing such, and to then support the flame of enthusiasm and nourish the feeling it gives us inside.

Four key points for this are:

1. Observe how life is moving in a better direction.
2. Take hold of moments of happiness you are offered.
3. Look for good signs in everything.
4. Be happy for all that you have in this given moment.

Trust me, life becomes fun with this. Once this feeling becomes a habit, you will be the sailor of sailing the waves of good fortune.

We may be wondering a lot about why the good stuff in life doesn’t remain as strongly in our memory as negative experiences, as it’s the latter we’d best want to forget (the irony of the human mind). What happens with good news, is that it’s easily forgotten because it gives us no reason to concern about it. When it comes to bad news, it evokes an active response and we draw our thoughts, and therefore energy, to it.

Keep in mind here that we get what our thoughts are mostly attached to.

It’s for that reason that it’s important to carefully nourish positive changes in your life. If we don’t let bad news into our hearts, then we won’t allow it in our lives, so it would be the same with good news.

When you hear encouraging news, try doing this:

1. Savour it.
2. Discuss it.
3. Track it.
4. Take pleasure in it.
5. Make predictions.
6. Expect further improvement.

By doing this, we attune ourselves to the parameters of good fortune and life will get better. This is when we transmit harmonious energy into the world around us, which in turn creates a harmonious vibration in which everything unfolds successfully.

When we can remind ourselves of keeping a positive attitude, we will always be led to success and creativity.

To remind is to remember.

9. To foster a sense of purpose instead of urgency

In your personal life there’s all sorts of goals you’re aspiring to achieve, and in the process of that many of us look for volicity, as we feel it’s urgent that it comes into our lives, preferably yesterday. I think we can see how much of discontentment it brings along with it, simply because we are well aware of some processes needing genuine effort and time. Yet, it’s easy to fall into the traps of believing urgency to being the driver of fulfillment.

So let us put aside the need for urgency and focus on what actually drives us into motion: a found purpose. When we find a purpose, and cultivate a sense of purpose, we create a deep understanding of the reasons behind our efforts and we know the answer as to why we want to breathe life into something. It gives life to the desire, so we can pour time and energy into it, because that purpose resonates with the impact we want to make.

A strong sense of purpose leads us to motivation for stepping into action. So, this is where we can go faster and work smarter towards something as there’s a clear vision of what we aspire to do. When we are affirming the sense of urgency, however, there is no room for actual engagement and collecting the (tiny) wins along the way.

A sense of purpose unlocks when we:

1. Cultivate an understanding of “why”.
2. Remember the greater cause and speak positively about it.
3. Focus on the right things, rather than what’s needed.
4. Practice patience.
5. Take actionable responsibility over our own lives.
6. Genuinely care and work with care.
7. Deliver results of our own creation.

For us to enjoy life, it’s crucial to spend time in mapping and figuring things out what it is that we want and to aim at adopting successful habits. Then, the road to a faster fulfillment becomes significantly easier.

The Endnote.

We could’ve approached this topic by throwing ourselves into the bulk of hundreds of lessons we can go through in life. But I believe that in doing so we would be missing the points of what these lessons, cores, values or rules are trying to make clear to us. In the area of awareness, we want to train our thoughts to connect the dots (i.e. this happened then, therefore I am at this point); to recognise patterns in our life (i.e. as I think, so I feel, I therefore act), and in turn realising and experiencing how one win or victory cascades in other circumstances we encounter in the next moments.

Start small, let in the experience, and see for yourself how it’s opening up your world. Whether you’re more progressed in life, or a young person at the start of finding answers (without an end), we are all here to contribute and to shape a reality that’s in alignment with who we are. Grow authenticity and in turn, we will congruently attract the picture we have of ourselves (Concept of Self). We don’t get what we want, we get what we are.

Everything starts with your awareness, it’s the game changer. That’s where enjoying life begins.

I hope you have inspired yourself.

Much love,

Anne